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Saturday 23 November, 2024
Saturday 23 November, 2024
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10 things all lapsed Catholics know to be true
1. You’re always caught out when someone asks what religion you are
“Catholic. Well, not really…”
2. Despite your various protestations, your parents refuse to accept that you’re not a Catholic anymore
3. Which leads to a lot of Tense Discussions over whether or not you’ll be going to Christmas Mass
4. And God forbid getting married somewhere that isn’t a church
“What do you mean won’t be getting married in a church? Don’t tell me you’ll be getting married in one of those *whispers* registry offices.”
5. Because of your lapsed Catholicism, you often find yourself a little bit lost on the occasions that you *do* have to attend Mass
Everyone else: “And with your spirit.”
You: “AND ALSO WITH YOU”
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6. Even though you are a lapsed Catholic, you’ve still been known to pray to St. Anthony when you misplace something
7. And you’ll never say no to someone lighting a candle for you
8. You feel like a bit of a charlatan whenever you attend a christening
“Yes, I will act as this child’s spiritual guide.”
9. You’re continually surprised by those who do get their kids christened or get married in a church
“Wouldn’t have pegged him as religious.”
10. Despite everything, though, you’ll never *quite* escape Catholicism
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Catholic Craic growing up catholic lapsed catholic